On Biff's Mind 4/12/09

This week’s big news is still, sadly, the guy who stole a workprint of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and posted it… somewhere… on the net. As might be expected, the MPAA wants this (as of yet anonymous) rocket scientist hung up by his testicles. Wolverine star Hugh Jackman says the incident has left him “broken-hearted”, (remember, Jackman’s a sensitive guy; when he isn’t slashing bad guys, he’s dancing like a freaking maniac) and the FBI is looking into the matter. Thusly, it goes without saying that actually downloading this film from… somewhere… on the net would be a bad idea. Many curious DLers nationwide have had their internet providers cancel their accounts (not exactly the death penalty, but truly a damned nuisance) due to Terms of Service Violation.

Of course, there are a lot of movies… somewhere… on the net, and none of the people who post them are particularly popular with the Hollywood community. The knuckle-knob who did this, however, has crossed a very dangerous line. He is not only endangering his own future, but more importantly he has drawn a lot of heavily-focused attention to an online community that is already under fire. It’s kind of hard for this group to fight for its legal right to exist, or at least argue that it is harmless, while Rufus T. Bastard is making these kinds of headlines. As Bizarro Martha Stewart might say, it’s a bad thing.

Oh, and for those who think that having a workprint of Wolverine online is well worth the incumbent risk, think a little harder: Yes, this uploader has given the world the thrill of looking at a sci-fi/action movie that is missing many of the special effects that might eventually make it cool to watch. Oh boy, what fun. To quote the hacky sack guy from Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude*, thanks a lot, dickweed.

Incidentally, someone pulled the same stunt back in 2003 with The Hulk. You can imagine how much fun that was to watch with unfinished effects. Did we learn nothing from that experience? Wait, let me rephrase that and just drop the question: We have learned nothing, as is often tradition with net geeks.

*That’s right, I don’t just write for geeks; I’m a proud member since 1980.

Enough about that. Onto the meat. Here’s some of the most interesting geek stuff that has popped up… somewhere… on the net for 4/9/09:

Movies

Knowing (2009) There are two Nicolas Cages. First there is the quirky, fun, doesn’t-make-a-good-Ghost-Rider-but-tries-his-ass-off Nicolas Cage. Then there is the dour, overly sincere, make-Kevin-Costner-look-wacky Nicolas Cage. Sadly, it’s that second guy who stars in the odd little supernatural disaster film Knowing. Of course, the film itself is way too sincere, so Cage is right at home. This is the kind of movie that would have been way more fun if it had been made by a low-budget hack, instead of filmmakers who thought that they were producing Art with a capital A. Still, some neat effects and a WAAAAAAY out there ending. Worth checking out.

Screamers: The Hunting (2009) A sequel to the Peter Weller sci-fi/horror film from 1995! Straight To Video! Find out why!

Lt. Victoria Bronte (Gina Holden, from ALIEN vs. PREDATOR: REQUIEM, HARPER’S ISLAND and the god-awful FLASH GORDON Sci-Fi Channel series) leads space marines in an investigation of a distress signal from planet Sirius 6-B. As SCREAMERS fans will remember, this is possibly the worst place in the galaxy to be. Killer robots (looking lower-budget than those from the first movie) soon pop up, people start getting shredded, and Lance Henriksen shows up for some quick cash. Not nearly as good as the original film, but for people who have to see every sequel to every movie, here ya go (don’t take that remark personally; I myself share this weakness).

TV

Lost: Episode 512 – “Dead Is Dead”: A pretty interesting week on this long-running show. Benjamin Linus (Michael Emerson), everyone’s favorite bad (?) guy, faces judgment from the island for a myriad of sins. The recently resurrected John Locke (Terry O’Quinn) intends to see that Ben doesn’t weasel out of it.

As always there are some interesting twists, and in the end we learn just a wee bit about the ever-popular Smoke Monster.

House: Episode 520 – “Simple Explanation”: There are some geeks who watch this show, right? Well, possibly fewer after this week’s shocking twist. HINT: Kal Penn has stepped away from acting for now, to become an Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison. This does not bode well for his House character Dr. Lawrence Kutner.

24: Episode 717 – “Day 7: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM”: Catchy episode title, eh? Die-hard 24 fans won’t mind. With them it’s all about Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) and whose ass he’s kicking each week. Not much ass-kicking in this episode, though, as evil Starkwood head Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight) temporarily gains the upper hand over President Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones). Meanwhile Jack sits back at FBI headquarters, hacking up a lung due to his recent exposure to a deadly bioweapon. With seven episodes to go this season, the tables have yet to turn. Big, manly tables piled high with semi-automatic weapons, no doubt.

Books

50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, by Russ Kick: It’s all a big conspiracy, I tell ya! I’ve seen stuff! And things! Seriously, though, for many this e-book collection of shocking factoids concerning major corporations, religions, and our own government will have a certain dark appeal. It’s always interesting to learn about the length the feds might go to when no one is watching, such as considering poisoning Afghanistan’s food supply (after 9/11, as one might guess), or exaggerating the number of terrorism convictions simply to heighten public morale.

Not all of the revelations author Kick unleashes are all that they’re hyped up to be: “DNA Matching is Not Infallible” mainly points out that lab techs sometimes (gasp!) make mistakes, and that sometimes DNA analysts lie. Not a lot there actually about DNA testing itself. Other tidbits, such as “The Insurance Industry Wants to Genetically Test All Policy Holders”, seem to be based mostly on conjecture. And there is the occasional “Well, DUH”, such as “Smoking Causes Problems Other Than Lung Cancer and Heart Disease”.

Still, there is some sobering stuff contained in this nice short read. Besides, admit it, you’re just dying to know which original American colony practiced cannibalism, what the age of consent is in Hawaii, and how many people are killed by prescription drugs annually. After all, you’re only human.

Audio (for Geeks)

Pink Floyd – Full Discography: Every Pink Floyd album. Every. Pink. Floyd. Album. That would be very cool, no? It just might be out there… somewhere… on the net.

Ghost in the Shell STAND ALONE COMPLEX CD COLLECTION: It took a lot of music to make the anime series Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (oh, and some animation, too). If you loved the series (and the movies, and the video game, books, bath towels, yada yada) then you will probably want to have this big-ass collection of tunes. Personally, I’m all FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST; but then, I’m an ultra-geek.

***

That’s it for now. Up next time, a look at a couple of interesting comics up … somewhere… on the net, plus more movie and TV fun. See ya then, fellow geeks.